This is a very relevant question considering that, that is where we found ourselves. I looked it up on the internet and discovered you could indeed buy a genuine tam from Scotland (the land that loves the tam) for a trifiling $13 plus $17 postage. I expect you have to be willing to pay for that postage if you want the real McCoy. However our Tamworthiness came in the form of a delightful sojourn  at Paul and ML’s house henceforward to be referred to the Tamworth Continental. Which is actually 7km out of Tamworth

We arrived from Army Dale (the open river valley with the soldiers) on Tuesday and parked the behemoth in a lovely position beside the clothesline and a very handy shed. The Tamworth Continental (let’s just call it the TC) also included a fantastic, perfectly chilled pool. We all enjoyed that as the weather was very hot so much so that the grass was a crunchy brown underfoot.

The TC has two resident hardworking staff who do the concierge work of greeting visitors, checking that guests are comfortable and chasing rabbits. They are Zeus the goose (who is actually a Maremma) and Rolly the black lab. I for one am more than happy to place them in the top five good dogs currently extant on the Australian Eastern seaboard. There was also a gaggle of geese (real ones, not the type that are just acting that way) and a hatful of hens at the TC.  It’s no poultry excuse.

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Day one we went to a free zoo that was fairly impressive. Lots of native animals. And you could go into the enclosures with them and hang out. One of the volunteers gave the kids some almonds to feed the wallaroo they had fun feeding him but when the nuts ran out and we tried to leave he was none too happy and had a chew on Tim’s shorts and got a bit paws on with Lou. No lasting injuries and a good story.

This stop was a good chance for us to regroup, reenergise, reconfigure our space and hang out at Kmart.  You can guess which of these was most gratifying for the munchkins. Somehow walking through miles of shops down the main street of town is not worth whinging about but going walking on a pleasant track through a rainforest makes your legs sore in less than 5 minutes. Must be that fresh air that takes it out of you.

I had the Dmax booked in for it’s free 20 000 service. They gave me a report card related  to my driving and economy etc.  Turns out it’s pretty poor. The report says I am not driving fast enough for the car to be fuel efficient. Hmmmm I wonder what’s slowing me down and chewing away at all that juice? Could it be the huge lump of bed, toilet, stove and fridge that I am dragging around? That thing that has been making me squint my eyes and hold my breath on any slightly tight corner or roundabout?

The main reason we got here when we did was to deliver Monja to her clandestine meeting of certain secret society which she is a founding member of.  I can’t publish the name of the group as I will likely be harassed or assassinated in some overly complicated manner. I will only say that if it was a German secret society it would be called Die Vögel  (die being the word for ‘the’ and vogel being my bad approximation for the word birds {super sorry to those Deutschlanders who are reading this).  You see ML of the TC is also a member and we were joined by a few other of the, only slightly menacing, members— known only through their code names. There ‘The Feather’ (known for her finesse at keeping children occupied) and ‘The Dog Whisperer’ (who is our personal Frankie tamer) and Leanne (who is yet to get the idea of code names and has done some excellent infiltration work and is at this very moment working deep undercover  at the headquarters of some international organisation of baddies).

We had to have a quick stop at the Golden Guitar. Pity they didn’t have  a giant sized pick next to it. That would have really created the right twanging impression. Bought the pin, got some hot chips and went to the cinemas to see Wreck it Ralph like any good tourists.

Thanks sooo much to our hosts. We owe you big time espec for your wifi which will exceed your limit this month guaranteed.